Nadia D (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ladynadiad) wrote2008-11-27 06:44 pm
ladynadiad) wrote2008-11-27 06:44 pm
A short writing sample
Warning, this is only edited for obvious typos so it may be a bit rough around the edges. Had to cut the scene off early for sharing though because something Dist says would spoil an earlier chapter, but most of the funny bits are in here, only thing that came later was Dist running away like a little baby pretty much. There was just an exchange that I can't share yet.
They ran aboard the Tartarus and saw right away that their hopes for this going on without any interruptions was not to be. It seemed one of the God-Generals had decided to pay them a visit. Strange, because no ships or anything else had arrived, but when they saw who it was, that was explained readily enough. This particular God-General had his own mode of transportation that was quite effective.
“Ah, Dist glad you could join us, unfortunately we seem to be lacking in passenger space this time around. Perhaps the next time?” Jade told him.
“Hah, you wouldn’t invite me anyhow, Jade! Not like I want to go on a joyride into the core anyhow. It would ruin my complexion greatly.”
“What are you doing here, Dist?” Luke asked the man.
“Oh, rather simple, even for peons like yourselves. You have a machine here, I’m breaking it.”
“And what would be the point of making sure we knew you broke it? If we know its broken we won’t leave and will just try again later.” Jade asked.
“That’s for me to know and you to find out, Jade.”
“Because you don’t know. I see how it goes, a shame that you still seem to be unable to gain the trust of others.”
“I do too know!” Dist whined as he shook his fists in anger.
“If you knew, you’d be bragging about how wonderful of a plan it truly was. Since you aren’t, I have to assume you made all the other God-Generals mad at you and now your taking your toys and going home.”
“I’m not a child Jade! I do know! The Commandant is coming himself to kill everyone in the city!”
“Why thank you Dist. You can be going now that you’ve ruined your plans.”
“Oooh, damn you Jade! You tricked me!”
“So why don’t you go run crying to your Commandant now?” Jade asked.
“Because I still have to finish breaking this device.”
“Ah, so you haven’t broken it yet. Good, then we can deal with you and be gone before Commandant Grants arrives. It is a shame when one tries to be fashionably late.”
“Hah! You’re already too late. He’s in Sheridan now! All those people, those lovely screams of pain as they die. A shame I must miss it to do something so silly as to break a perfectly decent fon machine.”
“And you obviously still are an idiot Dist. Why didn’t you just steal it?”
“Do you insult my superior intelligence? That should be obvious, it is far too large for me to carry and fly away. I’d sink into the ocean the moment I tried to take off, if I even made it that far.”
“Do we have a fly swatter maybe for an annoying gnat like him?” Anise asked
“I’m not a gnat! How dare you call me that when I was generous enough to make your doll what it is now?”
“Yeah, I’m grateful, but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re an annoying idiot Dist.”
Note 1: Bonus points to anyone who catches the Shadow Hearts: Covenant reference
Note 2: Since when did Dist enjoy killing and death?
And the long and short of that is that is what happens when I don't plan major scenes. Before I started writing this, had no idea who was going to show or how I was going to run this scene, because I couldn't decide, so well I ran with it and it's actually coming out pretty decently, except for needing a few fixes at the beginning for who went where because I keep changing that by accident.
They ran aboard the Tartarus and saw right away that their hopes for this going on without any interruptions was not to be. It seemed one of the God-Generals had decided to pay them a visit. Strange, because no ships or anything else had arrived, but when they saw who it was, that was explained readily enough. This particular God-General had his own mode of transportation that was quite effective.
“Ah, Dist glad you could join us, unfortunately we seem to be lacking in passenger space this time around. Perhaps the next time?” Jade told him.
“Hah, you wouldn’t invite me anyhow, Jade! Not like I want to go on a joyride into the core anyhow. It would ruin my complexion greatly.”
“What are you doing here, Dist?” Luke asked the man.
“Oh, rather simple, even for peons like yourselves. You have a machine here, I’m breaking it.”
“And what would be the point of making sure we knew you broke it? If we know its broken we won’t leave and will just try again later.” Jade asked.
“That’s for me to know and you to find out, Jade.”
“Because you don’t know. I see how it goes, a shame that you still seem to be unable to gain the trust of others.”
“I do too know!” Dist whined as he shook his fists in anger.
“If you knew, you’d be bragging about how wonderful of a plan it truly was. Since you aren’t, I have to assume you made all the other God-Generals mad at you and now your taking your toys and going home.”
“I’m not a child Jade! I do know! The Commandant is coming himself to kill everyone in the city!”
“Why thank you Dist. You can be going now that you’ve ruined your plans.”
“Oooh, damn you Jade! You tricked me!”
“So why don’t you go run crying to your Commandant now?” Jade asked.
“Because I still have to finish breaking this device.”
“Ah, so you haven’t broken it yet. Good, then we can deal with you and be gone before Commandant Grants arrives. It is a shame when one tries to be fashionably late.”
“Hah! You’re already too late. He’s in Sheridan now! All those people, those lovely screams of pain as they die. A shame I must miss it to do something so silly as to break a perfectly decent fon machine.”
“And you obviously still are an idiot Dist. Why didn’t you just steal it?”
“Do you insult my superior intelligence? That should be obvious, it is far too large for me to carry and fly away. I’d sink into the ocean the moment I tried to take off, if I even made it that far.”
“Do we have a fly swatter maybe for an annoying gnat like him?” Anise asked
“I’m not a gnat! How dare you call me that when I was generous enough to make your doll what it is now?”
“Yeah, I’m grateful, but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re an annoying idiot Dist.”
Note 1: Bonus points to anyone who catches the Shadow Hearts: Covenant reference
Note 2: Since when did Dist enjoy killing and death?
And the long and short of that is that is what happens when I don't plan major scenes. Before I started writing this, had no idea who was going to show or how I was going to run this scene, because I couldn't decide, so well I ran with it and it's actually coming out pretty decently, except for needing a few fixes at the beginning for who went where because I keep changing that by accident.